We respond in many ways to our abortions
Some of us bury ourselves in activity, with whatever can distract us the most.
We find it hard to trust ourselves, and we become indecisive and low in confidence.
It can be hard to trust others in case we get controlled again.
Our relationship with the father becomes toxic or uncomfortable.
We get angry with those who “did it “ to us.
We are hurting deep inside because we lost our baby.
Forgiveness is a response.
We can’t change what has happened or the people who were a part of it, but we can change ourselves, and our reactions to it all.
We can choose to respond with forgiveness.
How I changed my reaction towards someone who persuaded me to have an abortion
I had an experience when I went to the theatre, when I saw the friend who had told me that I wouldn’t cope, and how I should re -think my decision. There she was just a few seats from me. along the same row! I wanted to go and punch her as I was reminded of her negative droning tone. During the show the Holy Spirit kept washing over me and in my spirit I heard ‘forgive them for they know not what they do’
I said.” I know you want me to forgive her Father and I am trying, but don’t ask me to talk to her. I’m not ready.”
I could barely look at her without disdain but part of this anger was anger at me too for listening to her. The Holy Spirit was making it clear.” Forgive”. He was gentle and wasn’t pressurising. When God tells us to do something it’s for our own good as well as theirs. I couldn’t bless them at first but now I can so it’s slow but God works when we allow Him room to move.
Physical benefits of forgiveness
True forgiveness is easier said than done. … However, you may also notice your body thanking you through the health benefits of forgiveness: lower stress levels, a healthier heart, higher pain tolerance, lower blood pressure, and even an extended life. ( Accessed 11 Oct 2013 Google )
How do I forgive?
You could decide to react differently to the negative thoughts you are experiencing.
Here is an imaginary picture to help you:
If you can imagine that you are going on a walk in the countryside and you see two paths to choose from. One path looks interesting and winding. The other pathway leads into open countryside and a field. You take the interesting one but you find yourself in some boggy ground, with brambles hanging over your head. The brambles catch your clothing as you struggle to get out of the bog. You are in danger of losing your shoes in the bog.
After a long struggle, you get back from the bog and brambles. This is a picture is how it feels to be unforgiving.
You now decide to walk on the other path and it is surprisingly beautiful. In fact there is far more to discover there than you thought. There is plenty of room to move about and also a great view of a bay below, wild flowers wave in the breeze and the sunshine warms your skin. All is well.
The second picture describes how it feels to actively forgive someone.
It is transforming and of your own choosing.
Choosing to forgive yourself or others takes courage.
You can create a forgiveness response inside you, and change how you think.
For example, when an unforgiving thought comes into your mind, you could say something like:
“ I forgive you ( NAME )….I release you to your choices and I am moving on with mine.”
In the Bible, Jesus told his disciples to forgive up to seventy time seven times. Some of us know that it might take us seventy times seven times to forgive ourselves or others because the negative or unforgiving thoughts keep coming back.This is why forgiveness is a process and we need to be strong to go through with it.