Why have we put forgiveness

in the Healing Tree?

When we make a decision to have an abortion, we often involve other people in that decision. If we are regretting our decision later on, sometimes we may feel some hurt or resentment towards those who helped us to make it. We might have difficulty forgiving ourselves. Either way, forgiveness may be needed for our recovery, because forgiveness is a way to move forward from the things that are hurting us.

So what is forgiveness exactly?

Forgiveness takes time.

What unforgiveness looks like

In order to get a clearer idea of forgiveness, it is also interesting to define un-forgiveness.

Un-forgiveness can involve:

A troubled heart in which we are feeling uncomfortable or uneasy.

We have a lot of misunderstanding or others or ourselves, or we are bitter or angry.  ,http://www.revive.community/healing-tree/anger/

We experience a complete lack of harmony in our relationships, in that we can be very angry towards someone or something for no rational reason.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, can bring things like peace, harmony, and understanding. As we start to think about what forgiveness looks like, we sometimes feel anger that we do not expect, or we have negative thoughts towards those people or places we are blaming for our decision. It is interesting how much we can bury deep down inside us.

It is good to remember that we cannot change what is past, but we can change how the past makes us feel and think today.

This is how some of us respond after our abortions

After our abortions, we actively bury ourselves in activity, with whatever can distract us the most.

Some of us do not trust ourselves, we become indecisive and lacking in confidence.

Furthermore, we do not trust others in case we get controlled again.

A lot of recovering women say that their relationships with the father has become toxic.

It is easy to get angry with those who “did it “ to us.

The fact is that we are hurting because we lost our baby. And our pain is trying to find a way to express itself.

How is it possible to forgive myself or others? 

Some women talk about their experiences:

“Their world told me I was a little girl who knew nothing. They controlled me, including the clinic.They helped to get rid of my baby. How can I forgive that?”


“I was intimidated by those who told me it was for the best. I felt gagged from telling them the truth and I wanted to please them. How can I forgive myself?”


“Someone, who I thought was a friend, kept telling me how I wouldn’t cope. When I was relieved I didn’t go through with it the first visit to the clinic, she told me that I should rethink it, and kept telling me it was all on me and it would be too much for me.”


Forgiveness for me is to be set free from the labels that I or others had put on me.To receive forgiveness and to be told it’s okay, it’s like a second chance. I had done the most terrible thing I could think of, and I was a christian so it was like I should have known better, and I thought that it was unforgivable but Jesus said that no sin is too great for the Son of God to forgive. So therefore the labels attached to me, were nothing more than sticky notes that just fall off and get left behind.