What is going on??

 

Here are some thoughts about anger.

 

How do we express our anger?

Have we ever been allowed to express anger?

 

Anger is a sign that there is pain.

 

Pain can come in angry outbursts, often towards those whom we love.

We can build a wall of denial telling ourselves that it never happened. Are we angry because the wall we built is crumbling?

 

It is also possible that we are angry with someone who was involved in our abortion decision.

 

Whatever our anger looks like, bottling it up will eat us from the inside.

Here are some examples of angry reactions:

When I can’t do something, I get angry and cry.

I have trouble letting my anger out

My stomach goes into a knot

I “ingest” the anger and let it choke me on the inside.

My hearing feels blocked.

I have trouble letting my anger out

I feel a rush in my body

My body tenses

.

If I talk or shout when I am angry, it comes out all wrong.

I am horrible to my children.

Sometimes, I am scared of the person who made me angry, so I keep quiet.

If you have trouble working out what your anger looks like, try looking at the list of feelings on the Telling your Story leaf.

Something to do

Here are some suggestions for you as you look at your own anger.

Firstly, try to answer these questions for yourself

1)When do I feel angry?

2) What does my anger feel like?

3) How does my body react when I am angry?

4) When I am angry, do I  treat people around me differently??

5) What do I automatically do when I am angry?

6) For some of us, we may never have given ourselves permission to be angry.

It may be a new experience for us to express our anger.

You might like to take note of your anger over the next week and become aware of when it gets less or is not there at all.

The Poison Tree – A Poem about Anger.

I was angry with my friend:

I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe:

I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,

Night and morning with my tears;

And I sunned it with smiles,

And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,

Till it bore an apple bright.

When I am angry:And my foe beheld it shine.

And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole

When the night had veiled the pole;

In the morning glad I see

My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

William Blake

When you are ready, try these exercises:

1.Release pent up feelings

Express your anger privately between you and the four walls or a howling wind if you can find one. If you believe in God, tell Him exactly how you feel.

2. Identify the source of your anger

As you express your anger, think about what is coming out when you are expressing yourself.  Is your anger about a person, or a thing or an event? Write it down if you like. You can work out what those feelings are with a trusted friend. We suggest that keeping a journal will help you to keep track of your progress.

3. Take control and make a plan.

Make an action plan to deal with what came up. Talk the plan through with someone you trust, take your time but do it in a controlled way. Pray if you have a faith.

4 The plan can include writing an unsent letter.

You can write everything about your anger, without anyone having to know. You can ask the people involved why they did what they did, and how they made you feel. You may want to write to yourself if you are angry with yourself. Later, when you are no longer angry, you may want to tear the letter up and dispose of it.

You have now begun the journey of dealing with your anger. We suggest you have a cup or tea or do something you enjoy after doing these exercises.